Sunday, May 1, 2011

Teach an Old Dog New Tricks

night grew colder and the fire burned lower, he moved closer to the fire and curled into a tight ball with his feet tucked beneath him and his tail wrapped over his nose.
In the morning, Grandpa Roger rose long before dawn and padded down to the kitchen where he picked up several logs from the woodpile.  Next, he filled a glass with water and carried the wood and the glass back to the living room where the yellow dog slept.  Grandpa sat the glass next to the fireplace and proceeded to rebuild the fire.  It was his job to make sure the house was nice and warm before everyone else got out of bed. 
As the fire began to burn hotter, the dog slowly stretched out again.  As he did so, his tail moved closer and closer to the fire.  Soon, Grandpa smelled the odor of burning fur and turned from tidying the hearth to dip the dog’s tail into the glass of water.  The old dog just rolled over and went back to sleep.
The next day was a repeat of the day before as Grandpa went through the motions of stoking the fire and then putting out the fire at the end of the dog’s tail.
On the third morning, I ask grandpa why the dog kept putting his tail in the fire? 
Grandpa said, “For as long as I can remember, old Sam has slept close to the fire and every morning he wakes up wagging his tail until it ended up in the fire.  I figured he was cold and just got too close to the fire as he tries to warm up, so I bring the water and put out his tail and we go about our day.”
All day I thought about what Grandpa said but could not understand why the dog was not afraid of the fire.  I worried Sam would one day really hurt himself rather than just singe a little fur from his tail. 
That night, I tried to get Sam to sleep with me on the pull out sofa bed but when I awoke in the morning, he was curled up in front of the fire with his tail dangerously close to the smoldering remains of last nights fire.
When I told Grandpa how my plan had failed, he replied, “Son, you can’t teach old dogs new tricks.”
That night I decided to try again.  I tied Sam to the frame of the bed.  Later, he started tugging at the rope and howling as he tried to get back to his place by the fire.  Grandpa yelled down from his room for me to let the dog go.  Sam hurried back to his spot and was asleep in no time.
I was beginning to believe old dogs could not learn new tricks--at least not learn them and be happy about it.
As I fed the chickens, I watched Sam walking up and down the chicken wire fence waiting for me to finish my chore and play with him.  It occurred to me that maybe I did not need to teach Sam a new trick.  Maybe there was a way he could sleep in front of the fire without burning his tail. 
I ran to the barn and found the supplies I needed.  In a couple of hours, I was setting my invention up in front of the fireplace anxious to test it.  That night, Sam again fell asleep in front of the fire but this time, I did not worry about the fire burning him.  This time, a chicken wire fence sat between him and the fire.        
In the morning, Grandpa was pleasantly surprised to find Sam asleep in front of the fireplace rather than with his tail in the fireplace!

Saturday, April 23, 2011

Baby Wrestling


The clean diaper goes under the dirty diaper.  I am ready to see the damage.  Dang.  Number 2.  A Number 2 requires back up.  I call out for daddy as I snap three diaper wipes out of the warmer.  The action draws the baby’s attention to the box and he reaches above him to grab it, his entire body twisting around as he does so.

I drop the wipes and proceed to straighten him and the still clean diaper into alignment.

I undo the Velcro strips and remove the dirty diaper one-handed, vigilante where baby’s hands are, and more importantly, where they are going.  If one hand touches his wee-wee or below, it is automatic disqualification.

Still holding both feet in my right hand, I lean forward, using my forearms to block is wandering hands and pin him to the table.  He does a fake roll to the right and then the left.

Where is my back up?

The diaper wipes?  Where did they go?  As I locate them, back up arrives.  Finally.

Daddy pins the upper half to the table, sort of.  The upper half is doing a rocking to the music motion in opposite rhythm to the bottom half.  A moving target, but I am practiced.  I get the job done.  The dirty diaper in the Genie in record time, but is it quick enough?

I rush to pour the active little body back into his shorts.  The show isn’t over until the clothes are back in place.

Time.  2 minutes, 45 seconds.  Not good enough, but I gave it all I had.

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Imagination

The greatest asset of writers everywhere is a vivid imagination. Until we can imagine it--whatever it is--we cannot achieve it.